“We are the girls with anxiety disorders, filled appointment books, five-year plans. We take ourselves very, very seriously. We are the peacemakers, the do-gooders, the givers, the savers. We are on time, overly prepared, well read, and witty, intellectually curious, always moving… We pride ourselves on getting as little sleep as possible and thrive on self-deprivation. We drink coffee, a lot of it. We are on birth control, Prozac, and multivitamins… We are relentless, judgmental with ourselves, and forgiving to others. We never want to be as passive-aggressive as our mothers, never want to marry men as uninspired as our fathers… We are the daughters of the feminists who said, “You can be anything,” and we heard, “You have to be everything.”—
finally i can say that i have forged my own path, left behind the girl who once fit this description. filled with love, i am a woman who has broken free from these shackles. i am free to be. to live the truth that lies in my heart.
“One of the most amazing things that can happen is finding someone who sees everything you are and won’t let you be anything less. They see the potential of you. They see endless possibilities. And through their eyes, you start to see yourself the same way. As someone who matters. As someone who can make a difference in this world.”—Susane Colasanti, So Much Closer (via thatkindofwoman)
“Holding on to anything is like holding on to your breath. You will suffocate. The only way to get anything in the physical universe is by letting go of it. Let go and it will be yours forever.”—Deepak Chopra (via thatkindofwoman)
“Your handwriting. The way you walk. Which china pattern you choose. It’s all giving you away. Everything you do shows your hand. Everything is a self portrait. Everything is a diary.”—― Chuck Palahniuk, Diary (via thatkindofwoman)
“heartbreak opens onto the sunrise
for even breaking is opening
and i am broken
i am open
broken to the new light without pushing in
open to the possibilities within pushing out
see the love shine in through my cracks
see the light shine out through me
i am broken
i am open
i am broken open
see the love light shining through me
shining through my cracks
through the gaps
my spirit takes journey
my spirit takes flight
cannot have risen otherwise
and i am not running
i am choosing
running is not a choice from the breaking
breaking is freeing
broken is freedom
i am not broken
i am free”—Dee Rees, Pariah (2011)
I believe intimacy is a shared space, a safe one created by trust, attraction, and a sense of belonging. It is not a constant. It fluctuates, morphs, strengthens, weakens, grows, and shatters, depending on if the act of loving - the building blocks of intimacy - is healthy or unhealthy. Just because one is in an intimate relationship doesn’t mean there is intimacy. Intimacy is not given. It is built. Therefore, in order to create this space, tools are required.
Intimacy is genuinely wanting to know how your day went. Intimacy is understanding. Intimacy is eye contact during sex. Intimacy is knowing what the other person is feeling just by looking at them. Intimacy is shared sweat. Intimacy is being present. Intimacy is nonjudgemental. Intimacy is allowing someone to be their true self. Intimacy is forgiving. Intimacy is acceptance. Intimacy is glue.
Found an extensive list of resources on self care and burn out c/o applecore&peachpits. Thanks for compiling this!
For those in attendance of my workshop “Self-Care & Burnout Prevention for Anarchists (and Everyone Else)” on Saturday, Jan. 28th, 2012 — and for whomever happens upon this page — here are some resources for further investigation and enjoyment ^_^
When you honor yourself, every single thing that you do comes from that place. That means when you honor yourself, you protect yourself, you trust yourself, you take care of yourself. And you do things in a way that are going to bring glory to who you are. — Iyanla Vanzant
What I find often in the movement is that we’re so busy understanding the fullness of our victimization, we’re forgetting our power to do it to others. That balance needs to be really worked on and achieved so that we can come into the movement in a healthier and more healed fashion. Because I find a lot of people bring their wounded selves to the movement and they think it’s the movement’s job to heal them. And it’s not. The movement’s job is to liberate them; that’s a different project. — Loretta Ross
Today, June 21st, is Canada’s National Aboriginal Day. This morning, like most other days, I woke up, made my coffee, and sat down to read the news. The consensus seems to be that today is a day to celebrate Aboriginal cultures and to remember our vibrant history within Canada. In the newspapers, stories of celebration and cultural performance encourage all Canadians to learn about us, to let us share our cultures with them, and to celebrate Aboriginals as part of Canada’s strong foundation of diversity. And, like most other days, I also read stories about the ongoing struggles for Indigenous land rights, protection of Indigenous grave sites, and recognition of high rates of violence. Yet these realities – the celebration and the struggles – seem to be kept very separate, as though they cannot exist together or are irreconcilable in the minds of Canadians and the federal government.
The Aboriginal Affairs and Northern Development websitedeclares National Aboiginal Day as kickstarting 11 days of their “Celebrate Canada” festivities. This spirit of celebration and focus on cultural performance is at the heart of this day’s definition and vision, which seems to encourage a singular message: that Aboriginal people are welcomed into Canada as dancers, singers and cultural artifacts. This vision disempowers Aboriginal people’s struggles to gain sovereignty, to settle land and resource disputes, and to define ourselves not as subjects of Canada but as citizens of our own nations, on our own terms. Defining our cultural traditions as part of Canada’s history takes away their political significance as our systems of law, governance and identity. This is no coincidence, as the federal government would obviously not encourage a day to support the recognition of Indigenous nations as sovereign entities.
So what does it mean for us, as Indigenous people, to celebrate this day? Are there ways we can resignify our cultural performances on our own terms, and to remind Canadians that our songs and dances are much more than just lunchtime entertainment? What does it mean for us to be put on display, without recognition of the struggle it has taken for our survival? Where I live, here on Coast Salish territories, we might remind people that the potlatch and other local practices were banned in the Indian Act for over 80 years and only survived because of the resilience and determination of our ancestors to keep our worldviews and systems of governance alive. The dances and songs are inherently politically charged, and are part of our identity as survivors of genocidal policies. These histories cannot be separated from our cultural practices, regardless of the government’s attempts to refame them as celebrations of Canada’s multicultural history.
Many Aboriginal organizations and communities use this day as an opportunity to showcase the strength and resilience of Indigenous youth and elders, focusing on their success, agency and vibrancy. In this way, I suppose we might look at redefining National Aboriginal Day in terms that benefit us and our communities. Yet I worry that this continues to feed the government message about this day, and the role we have in Canada’s story about itself as a country without a history of colonial violence.
And so, today, I will not be celebrating Canada’s National Aboriginal Day. I will do what I do every day, putting my energy into cultivating the strength, resilience and beauty of our Indigenous communities, but for ourselves and on our own terms. I will try to cultivate understanding and education among non-Indignous and Indigenous people, in efforts to build networks of support and solidarity for the struggles facing our communities in order to create a brighter future for the next generations. And I will give thanks to my ancestors for keeping our cultural practices alive despite the government’s attempts to squash them, both through the Indian Act, and now through taking away their political significance. National Aboriginal Day is no friend of mine. Only when every day becomes a day for the recognition of Indigenous self-determination, and the simultaneous recognition of the harms of colonialism, will I be able to truly celebrate.
Being feminine is being desired and hated at the same time. A feminine body or mind is expected to be open and receiving to everything from others’ emotional baggage to sexual fantasies of total strangers. At the same time, receptivity (not that this defines femininity by any means) is considered weak and inferior. The result of this is often violence. Femininity is to be present for other’s needs and then destroyed for its perceived weaknesses.
Being feminine and of color is especially dangerous. Not just because we are a walking target for racist, stereotyped sexual fantasies but because so often we are blamed for being that.
”—Womanist Musings: Processes of Feminization: Becoming Myself (via feminishblog)
“Mostly, I feel that if only I do not speak, if only I refrain from uttering a single phrase, then everything will be all right. If I talk, it may allow things to spill from me. It could set in motion a vertiginous unbalance, a confusion leading to madness, or a hunger that may cause me to eat until I burst and die. If only I do not speak, I will be fine.”—Bloodletting & Miraculous Cures, by Vincent Lam (p. 337)
“It’s about misunderstandings between people and places, being disconnected and looking for moments of connection. There are so many moments in life when people don’t say what they mean, when they are just missing each other, waiting to run into each other in a hallway.”—Sofia Coppola (trying to explain what lost in translation is about)
“Water is fluid, soft, and yielding. But water will wear away rock, which is rigid and cannot yield. As a rule, whatever is fluid, soft, and yielding will overcome whatever is rigid and hard. This is another paradox: what is soft is strong”—~ Lao-Tzu